Psychological support

Psychological support for adults

On the one hand, there is the moment you sustained the scars or burns, which can have a huge impact and become a memory that is hard to bear. But the period afterwards also brings a great deal of extra strain and stress: the pain and discomfort you have to endure, the sometimes difficult and time-consuming care of the burns, perhaps a stay in hospital, operations and a period of intensive rehabilitation. Accepting the scars as part of your self-image, learning to deal with how the people around you react, facing the place where the accident happened and going back to work can each be difficult challenges too.

As with many difficult things in life, this can be a time when these extra challenges teach important life lessons. Burns patients often find their way to recovery even in these hard circumstances. But sometimes it is harder to find a new balance and you get stuck. In what is often an intense process of coming to terms with what happened, a little extra support can help (even when things are going well). It may be worth considering psychological support in the following situations:

• You notice that thinking back to the moment you sustained the scars/burns remains emotionally charged in a way that gets in the way of your daily life.

• You relive the moment you sustained the burns and/or scars, or you have recurring nightmares.

• You feel very irritable and have little tolerance.

• You avoid everything to do with the accident and feel out of touch with your emotions.

• You notice that other people’s reactions to your burns and/or scars still often make you angry or sad, and you don’t know how to deal with them.

• You find it hard to look at your scars and accept them as part of your self-image. You struggle with shame.

At Oscare, we would like to support you as you work through these issues. Sometimes we do this with supportive talking therapy and, if needed, we use EMDR to work on specific memories that remain emotionally charged.

In a first conversation, we look at the difficulties you are experiencing and discuss a possible approach.

Psychological support for children

Children show the emotional impact of scars and/or burns in their own way.

In young children (babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers):

• Feelings of helplessness or fear.

• Breaking things.

• Difficulty saying goodbye, clinginess.

• Fear of going to sleep and dreams about monsters.

• Play in which the child re-enacts what happened over and over again.

• Becoming anxious and upset in a medical setting

In primary school children:

• Worrying about their own safety and that of others.

• Aggressive and frightening fantasies.

• An excessive sense of guilt.

• Sleep problems and nightmares.

• Physical complaints such as stomach aches or headaches linked to tension.

• Being overwhelmed by sadness and fears.

In teenagers:

• Feelings of shame or guilt about the event.

• Fear of being seen as different or abnormal, of no longer fitting in.

• Fantasies about revenge or punishment.

• More conflict with parents.

• Withdrawing socially.

• Experimenting with risky situations, unsafe sex or drugs, dangerous driving.

• A limited sense of the future.

In many cases these difficulties are temporary and disappear by themselves over time. As a parent, you support your children by giving them room to process what happened and, where possible, by meeting their extra need for safety and predictability. Some parents find that their guilt about what happened continues to weigh on them and is hard to come to terms with. Or you may notice that your child’s burns and/or scars have become an extra challenge in raising them, leaving you unsure about your approach to parenting.

Still worried? Feel free to get in touch for a conversation to talk through your doubts or concerns as a parent and to see whether and how we can offer further support.

Parents are always involved in the psychological support of a child or young person, because we know that the way parents and children come to terms with what happened often go hand in hand. The support may involve parent guidance, where the parents themselves come in for sessions, or drawing and play activities, conversations and – where appropriate – EMDR with the child.

Brothers and sisters may need help too, as we should not underestimate the impact these events can have on them. They may have been present at the accident, or received less attention for a while because of the hospital stay and the care their brother or sister needed.

At a first appointment, we look at your concerns and discuss a possible approach.

Psychological support for partners

Being the partner of someone with scars and/or burns can bring its own share of hardships. Perhaps your partner is finding it hard to come to terms with what happened, and that is causing you stress too. A changed appearance can affect your partner’s self-image and the intimacy in your relationship. Perhaps you are also struggling with the physical changes in your partner. Partners are very welcome to come to Oscare as well, so that matters that are painful or hard to talk about can get the attention they deserve.

There are no ready-made solutions. Even so, getting a clearer picture of what is going on, and sharing and broadening perspectives, can often make a big difference to how the problems are experienced. This often allows the relationship to deepen, which brings something valuable to both partners.